Being right is something I find extremely interesting because the truth is… right according to who? As time flies and I continue to age I mean grow. I find that my perspective is continuously changing. To be perfectly honest I had several opinions at age 18 that I feel completely differently about today. I am not talking about huge ethical or political beliefs. Those have stayed similar from year to year but smaller seemingly more insignificant opinions have morphed over time.
Before I had my first child I believed less in moderation. I felt like anything that felt good should be done as much as possible because why the hell not? Everybody likes to feel good right. All of a sudden somewhere in my mid twenties I began to realize that some moderation could do me good. Wine or junk food for example. A couple glasses of wine can really make my night but 3 or 4 can really ruin my morning. Somehow it bothered me less 10 years ago.
Perspective has really played it’s role since I have found myself in a committed relationship. Realizing how differently two people can see the exact same event is enlightening. I respect my partner and appreciate his point of view even if it is completely different from my own. This is a jarring reminder that as right as I always think I am that is only from my perspective. My partner is right from his perspective and that wonderful mind, and point of view makes him the person that I love. Interesting how we can both be right without one of us being wrong.
So… 5 ways that perspective is the end of the world as we know it.
- Confrontation. Human nature does not allow us to easily understand each others perspective in a non confrontational way. Essentially when we hear an others beliefs differing from our own we tend to feel the need to defend our point of view. Now we are defensive and before you know it we are in the middle of a fight. Oops. Why didn’t we just take a moment to appreciate our differences and love each other anyways? Because it’s not easy. I am just trying to do better and that is all we can really ask of ourselves.
- Change. Being open minded enough to respect each other in spite of our differences of opinion requires that most of us change. Change is uncomfortable and awkward. No wonder most people would rather just live in their perspectives bubble. It gets rather lonely in there though.
- Being wrong. Nobody wants to feel like they are wrong. Especially when they feel strongly about something. The black and white way in which we all see right and wrong is exactly why we have a hard time allowing each other to have our own perspectives. ” If he is right then I am wrong. ” Nope. Lets just focus on being a place that harbors open, honest and respectful communication through differences. We are all different after all. We can both be right from our point of view and still be okay.
- Single mindedness. There is a common misconception that there is only one way to do anything. I fell like it’s not true. The birthplace of technique lies here. The fact that you can reach the same result in several ways is what makes people famous. New and bright techniques are developed everyday by people who realized there could be another way.
- Stubbornness. A lot of people laugh when they talk about how stubborn they are like is an endearing quality. It is what it is and I am not knocking it as a personality trait because it means your strong. The key is to curb your stubbornness just enough to see it for what it is. A cap. Your putting a cap on your potential because by golly your going to stick with your first thought or impression or idea just because… Open yourself up to all the possibilities you ignored because you were too stubborn and let yourself free.
I just hope that more of us can realize that being strong or smart doesn’t mean we have to bully other people into believing as we do. It is a beautiful thing that we live in a place where we are all allowed to be independent thinkers. Being so strong willed that you wont allow others a safe place to feel differently than you do feels oppressive. Long live free thinking, fun loving, strong willed, open minded people! It’s not an easy way to be but imagine all the possibility.