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5 reasons why perspective is the end of this world as we know it….

Being right is something I find extremely interesting because the truth is… right according to who? As time flies and I continue to age I mean grow. I find that my perspective is continuously changing. To be perfectly honest I had several opinions at age 18 that I feel completely differently about today. I am not talking about huge ethical or political beliefs. Those have stayed similar from year to year but smaller seemingly more insignificant opinions have morphed over time.

Before I had my first child I believed less in moderation. I felt like anything that felt good should be done as much as possible because why the hell not? Everybody likes to feel good right. All of a sudden somewhere in my mid twenties I began to realize that some moderation could do me good. Wine or junk food for example. A couple glasses of wine can really make my night but 3 or 4  can really ruin my morning. Somehow it bothered me less 10 years ago.

Perspective has really played it’s role since I have found myself in a committed relationship. Realizing how differently two people can see the exact same event is enlightening. I respect my partner and appreciate his point of view even if it is completely different from my own. This is a jarring reminder that as right as I always think I am that is only from my perspective. My partner is right from his perspective and that wonderful mind, and point of view makes him the  person that I love. Interesting how we can both be right without one of us being wrong.

So… 5 ways that perspective is the end of the world as we know it.

  1. Confrontation. Human nature does not allow us to easily understand each others perspective in a non confrontational way. Essentially when we hear an others beliefs differing from our own we tend to feel the need to defend our point of view. Now we are defensive and before you know it we are in the middle of a fight. Oops. Why didn’t we just take a moment to appreciate our differences and love each other anyways? Because it’s not easy. I am just trying to do better and that is all we can really ask of ourselves.
  2. Change. Being open minded enough to respect each other in spite of our differences of opinion requires that most of us change. Change is uncomfortable and awkward. No wonder most people would rather just live in their perspectives bubble. It gets rather lonely in there though.
  3. Being wrong. Nobody wants to feel like they are wrong. Especially when they feel strongly about something. The black and white way in which we all see right and wrong is exactly why we have a hard time allowing each other to have our own perspectives. ” If he is right then I am wrong. ” Nope. Lets just focus on being a place that harbors open, honest and respectful communication through differences. We are all different after all. We can both be right from our point of view and still be okay.
  4. Single mindedness. There is a common misconception that there is only one way to do anything. I fell like it’s not true. The birthplace of technique lies here. The fact that you can reach the same result in several ways is what makes people famous. New and bright techniques are developed everyday by people who realized there could be another way.
  5. Stubbornness. A lot of people laugh when they talk about how stubborn they are like is an endearing quality. It is what it is and I am not knocking it as a personality trait because it means your strong. The key is to curb your stubbornness just enough to see it for what it is. A cap. Your putting a cap on your potential because by golly your going to stick with your first thought or impression or idea just because… Open yourself up to all the possibilities you ignored because you were too stubborn and let yourself free.

I just hope that more of us can realize that being strong or smart doesn’t mean we have to bully other people into believing as we do. It is a beautiful thing that we live in a place where we are all allowed to be independent thinkers. Being so strong willed that you wont allow others a safe place to feel differently than you do feels oppressive. Long live free thinking, fun loving, strong willed, open minded people! It’s not an easy way to be but imagine all the possibility.

Pinkback: Weekly Photo Challenge

Weekly Photo Challenge: New Horizon

I was wandering around our property. Looking for some smidge of scenery that would sum up what a new horizon meant to me. I was fingering the tall blades of grass and toodling around my chicken yard. I watched my little chicken babies. Oblivious to anything but the juicy bugs they were chasing down in the tall grass… Then I looked up and saw in the distance my daughter coddling a little bundle. She was cooing and stroking and basically taking care of her fluffy friend.

I knew that I had been coming upon a common life theme these past few weeks. The new horizon ahead of me has been leading up to this next year with my favorite word being care. As a mom to two kids, 3 dogs and 7 chickens I spend a lot of time taking care of them, but I am not doing it right. I need to be teaching them that I take care of them because I love them and that they should be doing the same thing for the people they love.

Children are born depending upon us as parents to give them everything they need to survive and thrive. They are born knowing how to take. They need to be taught how to stop just taking and start taking care of several things… each other, their family, their friends, their pets and most of all themselves.

I’m not going to teach my family how to take care of anything by placing demands, throwing fits or dropping all my responsibilities and letting everything go to hell. I am going to teach them how to take better care of everything by showing them that I take care of me, and expecting them to help me take care of our home and our life… I’ m thinking the best way to teach is to set a really good example, and your never to young to start practicing.

p.s. I’ve noticed that my kids and I get a lot more quality time when we are taking care of more  things together.

 

new-horizon

Weekly Photo Challenge: New Horizon

Daily Prompt: Treasure 3 ways to enjoy your journey.

Tesoro, trésor, schat… treasure

When you google images the word treasure you will find several hundred photos of chests stuffed full of golden coins and jewelry, caves and maps. Call back every pirate movie you have ever watched. They make an epic journey and in the end they find the chest. It’s almost never full of what they were looking for in the first place. The main character is usually not happy with the actual treasure. They realize that what would make them happy was with them all along.

That’s why I feel like the real treasure is our journey. Our life. What you’re doing right now. Reading this post, snuggling by your fire, glancing up at the blinking Christmas tree, sending your bundled kids off to the bus, waking up at 6am every day, failing, winning, laughing and crying. Even the difficult moments or the hard parts in life are what makes it worth being truly alive, because you have no doubt heard the famous saying… “You can’t make a diamond without pressure.” Bring it on because I’m coming out shiny!

So… 3 basic ways toenjoy-your-journey

  1. Acceptance

Whatever is happening in this moment right now is and will remain what is happening. Unless there is something you can do literally and immediately to stop it. Honestly though if you could would you want to? Your kids are running around screaming at the top of their lungs, and your first reaction is to halt the activity. It’s distracting you, and hurting your ears, but do you want to? I found myself in a moment like this once, and as I opened my mouth I realized they were so happy. They were smiling and laughing. My daughters scream is actually a loud, high-pitched squeal of joy. Shes playing with her brother, and they are having a wonderful moment. I decided right then and there to accept what was happening and try to let it bring me joy too.

siblings

2. Check in

In more ways than the obvious. Set a day once a week where you check in with all of your loved ones, your inner circle. Send them each a quick text that you love them or are thinking about them. Call your Grandma. Then, check in with yourself. Take a moment to tune in with how you feel. Are you taking care of you? Have you drunk enough water? You have heard it before but it’s easy to ignore so I will tell you again. Your no good to anybody if you’re no good to you. Physically, mentally and emotionally allow yourself some time for self-care. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. Any little amount is a great start.

3.  Fail

Allow yourself and your family some room to fail. I will never forget this random Facebook post I read that encouraged us to ask our kids what they failed at today. I tried it out and realized how much I loved the idea. To fail also means that you tried. Trying is honestly one of the most important things we can do. So pat yourself on the back when you fail and be gracious when your family fails because all it really means is they are trying, the last thing you want is for them to give up on that.

fail

It’s okay.

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Treasure

3 reasons you don’t need all that “volume on top”

I have noticed that I’ve had a significant increase in new clients coming in for a consultation with the common complaint that nobody can cut their hair right, to which I nod and prepare for a friendly mediation. Tell me first if you have ever said the following… ” I try to keep it shorter up top because I need the volume and body, but I really need some length in the back because I have a round face. ”

Realistically what is shorter in the front, pushed back off the face, has little voluminous layers on top, and is longer in the back? That is a friendly version of the mullet (see Reba below far left). Before you fall into that trap let me tell you that your mostly right. You probably could use some volume and body and if you feel like you have a rather round face there are things you can do about that. Pushing the hair up off your face to expose said roundness is not one of them.

So here are 3 reasons you don’t need all that “volume on top”…

  1. It dates you. There was a decade in which having all the little layering up top was totally in style, 2016 is not in that decade. You don’t have to do away with the volume. There is a fun little work around your stylist can use to give you all the volume without making 3 inch long layers at your crown. Interior layering is all the rage these days and can effectively give you body without the mullet.reba-pic-collage

 

2. You need the hair around your face. I know it drives you crazy to have it in your eyes and stuck to your cheeks but the round of the face can be combat by cutting the corners. You need that hair around your face to cut into the round and make your shape appear more oval.

3. It’s time for something new. Although it can be scary and feel uncomfortable changing your hair is as refreshing as re arranging our furniture. It can really make it look like a whole new you. Everybody will notice how fresh you look and in time you will get comfortable with the change.

Alright ladies now go see your stylist with a whole new perspective on your options and let them guide you in the right direction.

XOXO,

H

Lighting Is Everything

I have clients who will come into the salon after having the best color of their life and want to know what to do because every time they look in their bathroom mirror their hair ” looks yellow “, or ” looks flat “, or ” it’s red! ” Is their hair yellow, flat or red? Hell nooooooo. It is just as beautifully ashy blonde as it was when she left the salon.

What’s the problem then? She is not crazy and she’s probably not lying… the problem is the lighting. I conducted an experiment to prove it. The types of lighting are endless incandescent, fluorescent, halogen, natural, classic, spiral, tube, mini globe, and spotlight. I’ll spare you the continuance. The point is every shape and type of light source emits a different cast that can affect the way your eye perceives color. Your hair looks yellow even though it’s not because your bathroom light bulb made it look that way.

I did a little experiment to prove it… this gem is Aimee and she is one of my dearest coworkers and friends. We walked around the salon together and took pictures of her hair under different types of lighting at the salon.

lighting

Aimee is a platinum blonde who likes to dabble in fashion colors. Most recently she was a gorgeous shade of purple. That color has mostly faded out by now but notice in the bright sunlight you can see a lot more of the purple under tones. In the shade she looks like seamless icy blonde, but inside under the LED light she has a yellow glint to her platinum.

This is sheer proof that lighting is everything. Let this make you feel better about your hair color when you catch a glimpse of your self in your dim bathroom light or under the fluorescence at work. When your half bratty child calls your hair color yellow you can rest assured that your stylist wouldn’t let you leave looking like big bird unless you were going for a neon yellow fashion color.

On one last side note. If your hair truly is fading to a different color, which it always will by the time you need to come in again. There could be another reason that it is turning brassy. Mineral build up, product build up, your hair’s natural undertones etc. These all play a role in your hair fadeage.  Be willing to allow your stylist some investigative freedom to help you fix your problem. Perhaps they want you to try an exfoliating treatment or buy a new brand of product they feel wont build up. Having happy, healthy locks that don’t fade icky can take some maintenance depending on your environment and what you put in and on your body.

Love,

H

2 Easy Breezy updo’s when you only have 10 minutes

Washing your hair is over rated. I am not okaying you to stop bathing, or let your hair care get out of control oily. Your head shouldn’t look like the floor of the local Jiffy lube on the regular, but you absolutely do not have to wash your hair every day. You don’t have to wash it every other day for that matter.

What you should do… is bathe your body, wet your hair, even use your fingers to simulate a scrubbing motion along your scalp, but skip the shampoo almost as often as you like. A good rule of thumb is that you should probably soap up at least once a week. I personally shampoo about twice a week unless I have something going on that I feel the need to be especially fresh for.

I realize that by day 3 or 4 sometimes my hair can start to look a little greasy and wearing it down and limp isn’t the hottest look. So a couple of weeks ago on hair washing day (twice that week) I tried a quick updo to make my limp noodle locks look a little more kept. I spend my days beautifying my clients so my own morning beautification regimen is usually sub par. I had 10 minutes to fashion a updo that would last all day at work and make my hair seem fresh. Here is what I came up with…

quick-updo-1

I used 1 medium-sized butterfly clip to pull this style together. You can substitute that with any clip or pin you may have available, including bobby pins. I like to view this up swept style as bohemian and effortless. Here’s how in steps. Quick tip ( leave your part alone. This style is based on your hairs natural part. Don’t comb your hair up like you would in a high pony. )

  1. Pick up two sections of hair on either side of your face right where your eyebrows live. Each section should measure about 1 inch.
  2. Twist these two sections away from your face, all the way to the end.
  3.  Allow the two twists to meet at the back of your head just under the occipital bone and tie together with a pony tail holder.
  4. Repeat steps 1-3 with another section of hair just below your eyes.
  5. Pickup all the hair that has gathered at the base of your neck and fold it up and over tucking it into the twists you just secured.
  6. Use a clip, hairpin or bobby pin to set the hair you just swept up and over your twists.

Tadah! Updo done. Your ready for work. The key to this style is to allow your hair to tendril at will. let the little pieces fall around your neck and face, that’s what makes it look so effortless. A little messy is okay.

quick-updo-2

This has to be one of the easiest styles I have ever done. You may not be able to pull this one off unless your hair is at least shoulder length. Especially with this style dry shampoo will be your best friend. Hairspray has also come along way from the Aqua net days. You can probably get a really amazing and reliable hairspray from your local salon that will not make your hair feel as stiff as a scotch on the rocks. Here’s how to pull off the Hairbow…

  1. Pull all of your hair up on top of your head. Reach for the sky because you can’t see your bow at all if your pony is too low.
  2. Before you put your pony tail holder in place pull out some piecey bits around your face, unless you want a uber slick look.
  3. Wrap your pony tail holder around your hair at the top of your head. On the last wrap make it a bun with the ends sticking out the back. (like we did in the 90’s).
  4.  Turn the bun around so that the straight ends are poking out over the top of your head. You should look ridiculous by now.
  5. Part the perfect little bun into two sections pressing them down onto your head. ( these will be the sides of your bow )
  6.  Take the little straight tail of hair on top sticking out of your bun and fold it between the two sides of your bow. Secure this section at the back either with a bobby pin or by sticking the ends into the pony tail holder that is already there.

Rock your Hairbow all day and don’t be surprised when a few people get all excited about your do and ask how to pull it off themselves. Just send them a link to my blog and let them get the step by step.

Happy hair styling!

Love,

H